Life

Like most people, I lived in denial my whole entire life up to when I became born again. Like all broken people I find that I have a variety of problems. Most are solved now but there will always be a couple that have tainted me. My past is diverse, not the good kind though. Sometimes I regress instead of progress. And that's when I usually fall with grace.
In 2011, I had a terrible beginning. You can say that it was club, alcohol, sex fuel, of all things. It was sad, but it needed to happen so that I can grow up. Having 2 kids by 19, not having the support, and on top of it being fat. I saw myself at a disadvantage and felt strongly that my life was shit. Though I tried very hard to counter act the negative thinking, I be and entrapped. I found myself at crossroads, walls all around, closed doors. Life was bleak, and then it happened. I found out that the like light felt good. So I did what most 20 year olds do, go to parties & club. It was slow, but the darkness creeped in. I thought I was missing something and that I needs to try what everyone else was doing since their so happy. It just so happened to be that the road south is very temping.
When you decide to have that first drink, you've let in the opportunity for it to become a full time position. Slowly month after month my consumption increased. You can say that at a couple points along the way I was no longer sober, or functioning with out alcohol. It was a daily habit that made me thin, and so I got all the attention. The one thing that lonely girls want. Of ourselves when you attract that many people, there's many problems. You can say at that point I knew a god but didn't want to listen to him.
Of course when you reach the bottom of the pit you can only climb out! I've always had self image problems, but as I grew up and stronger with Christ I came to a place of understanding. A place where hope begins. I don't believe that your truly living untill you've died. That is dying in the flesh. Dying to the things of the world, and letting go. Let go and let God, that's how they say. There was no way for me to come to terms win what had happens with me in my past till I was in a deep dark hole.
When I decided to recommit to believing a Bigger man, it helped me put life into perspective. That I am important and am just one person in this World. But I know that if I go back to the dark realm I cannot be able to fulfill my destiny.
Gods plan for your life, and yours probably don't match but if you come to a place where your humble before him, you will see him come through. I serve a God who does what he says. And it's nice to finally have it in my life. Things finally going the right way at the right time. God is Good