No matter what year, what time, or how old I get, I still seem to never get "the right guy". I cant even say I'm disappointed when things don't work out, because honestly I knew it wouldn't from the start. the only frustration I ever seem to get is trying to love the "unlovables". The type that never seem to keep their word, or take you in the right path, or even be considerate(of me) with their actions. That is the saddest and the most awful part. I don't need anybody to tell me that I need a break from men again. I really just need to keep away from humans of the opposite sex. Because I tend to invest emotional effort and ties to them for it to all end up a waste of time. that is all.
From the first man I've ever loved, to the man I fell inlove with, to the man that I have children with, there has not been any luck with these people. I give a little, only for them to take alot. I give him my trust and he betrayed it, I give him my life & he destroys it, This is not at all what I call love.I know i can do much better and I can be a whole lot more useful with my time and emotions.
So, at almost 25 and like only a handful of serious relationships later I seem to understand very well that I need to simply let go altogether of the opposite sex and go back to my kind. Loving another woman was never this hard, and even letting go wasn't as difficult. So all I know is that the world has to be ready to have the first openly Gay South Sudanese chick this year. I see no reason to deny myself of what I've been depleting myself all these years. I see no reason as to why I cant be out of the box with my sexuality, or be open about my new choices. Honestly, Im not even going to waste time with being mad or being cross over any man in my life. Just take the BIG scissors and cut them out of your life! I can do bad all myself ;-)
With laughter, instead of frustration
ADD Garang
